Mark your territory
A perfect holiday read for all ages
WE OWN THE ROOFTOPS, STREETS, AND BEACHES.
CHIPS, PASTIES, ICE CREAMS —ARE TO BE SHARED.
ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY.
By order of the gulls
***
Young gull Lazarus (crew name Flick) is living his best life—in St Ives, flapping and filching with his mates, his crew.
His father, Solmondor, still believes in fishing and foraging—the noble arts, he calls them—but that’s hard work, and what’s the point when humans provide everything?
Yet the past has a way of catching up.
And a dark shadow is on the move.
***
The perfect beach read. Funny, visceral, and poignant, ‘The Art of Stealing Chips in the Mizzle’ is a modern seaside fable about finding the courage to face what you’ve flown from.
***
Note: Image shows hardback cover.
A look inside...
‘You’re a herring gull, Lazarus. Act like one.’
Father’s stare. Granite hard.
They stood on the flat roof, wafts of stanky sardines rising warm. Lazarus lowered his beak.
In his head, gulls—the divers—screamed from cloud, stupid-birds flyin’ stupid-fast, streakin’ into the deep. Zip-zip-zip—for the sardines, the silver.
The life he once wanted.
His belly tightened. Thinkin’ too hard made him want to squit. No divin’. Not for him. Not after what happened. Leg still crooked. Head got a bare-patch, feathers wouldn’t grow there—Godgull’s will, so Mother jabbered.
Broken little scabber-hatch, he was. Their thoughts.
Mother stood with Father now, not beside Lazarus. A cold night could take ’em both. Far as he cared. Time to leave this dull borin’ flat stinkpit roof.
He loved Father, the stupid old fool—but that gull had no idea what Lazarus knew.
Gulls didn’t have to dive.
Not anymore.
Blog posts
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Fun facts about gulls
People think gulls are just feathered pickpockets, screaming down the harbour for pasties. True enough — but there’s more to them than chip-thieving chaos. Here’s a few facts worth squarking...
Fun facts about gulls
People think gulls are just feathered pickpockets, screaming down the harbour for pasties. True enough — but there’s more to them than chip-thieving chaos. Here’s a few facts worth squarking...
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The evolution of an idea (and title)
Sometime between 2007 and 2012 I did some work as a tradesman, in a cottage in North Wales. I can’t remember exactly which property, but I can picture it: a...
The evolution of an idea (and title)
Sometime between 2007 and 2012 I did some work as a tradesman, in a cottage in North Wales. I can’t remember exactly which property, but I can picture it: a...
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About the author
Julian Patrick lives in Marazion, Cornwall, where the gulls and the mizzle insisted on becoming characters. The Art of Stealing Chips in the Mizzle is his debut novella—a darkly comic...
About the author
Julian Patrick lives in Marazion, Cornwall, where the gulls and the mizzle insisted on becoming characters. The Art of Stealing Chips in the Mizzle is his debut novella—a darkly comic...
